Setting Healthy Boundaries

By Abbey Benvegnu

Flies!!! 

Omg they’re annoying!! 

Lately I’ve been swarmed by flies. Gross!! 

It started about two months ago and it’s really just hit me in the last two days what is actually going on here. I thought they were just being annoying because of the heat but a part of me is saying this is no coincidence.. There is a lesson in EVERYTHING.

They have been everywhere… I’ve had days where there are easily 20-30 flying around the house, during the day… at night… whenever. Then we had not one but two outbreaks of maggots and oh my gawd that is not a nice thing to clean up. I’ve had them in the car, at the park and even following me in the shopping centre. I seriously can’t escape them!!! 

Usually when you think of spirit animals you’ll consider an animal like a hawk or eagle, a tiger or an elephant but you wouldn’t ever really consider a fly. Yuck. Who wants a fly as a spirit animal buzzing around…not me! So I went to my spirit animal guidebook and low and behold…. The flies are in there! Queue jaw drop….

So what does it all mean?

Setting healthy boundaries is an act of self-love and self-respect

I think there can be a few interpretations a but the one that resonates with me right now is the concept of respecting boundaries. Those of your own and those of others.

You can’t be everything to everyone and you can’t always do everything you want to do. When you overload yourself and over complicate your life you become overwhelmed by your duties and obligations. You burn out, you make mistakes, you snap because your tired, your confused because your brain is overworked or you start resenting people for the choices that you originally made. Your life is not in flow. 

We all have things we want to do but we also over commit and when that happens we are at risk of letting other people down or letting ourselves down and then we feel crap. 

It’s ok to say “No, not today”, give yourself the time and space to feel right and to feel full. When our cup is full we give our overflow to others. You simply cannot give from an empty cup. And you shouldn’t give your energy reserves out to others… it’s there for you.

So…why are we so eager to always please?

For love and connection!

We want to do everything and be everything to everyone so people accept and love us. So people can rely on us and see the good in who we are. But we fuck it up ourselves when we agree to too much. 

If we set ourselves healthy boundaries we are actually saying I love you more so you can then give the best of yourself when you are ready.
So the lesson is there, don’t be a pesky fly buzzing around everyone else’s business, or dont let the tasks of your life swarm you like an outbreak of maggots because in the end, your going to have to clean up the mess anyways.

Abbey Benvegnu xo